You really coming over, don't trick.
Someone shit on the floor
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
