You can't motorboat a personality
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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