laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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