if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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