I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
