8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
