I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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