I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
