Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
