i already hear my dad disowning me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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