Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
