i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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