If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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