Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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