i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
how drunk are you?
Several
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
