even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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