A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
