So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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