It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
