Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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