$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
