Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
