East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
