Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
