he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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