There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
