Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
where are my eyebrows?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
