come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
