Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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