Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
