All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
