he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize