happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
