idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
