glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
