I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
