i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
