Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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