dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
