Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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