yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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