Tell her she can't have a vagina
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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