so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
