I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the liver wants what the liver wants
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
