How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
