i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
