Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
