Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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