I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
