he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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