just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
