yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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