Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
