The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
