do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
