you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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