I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
operation have a gay friend backfired
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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