do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His nipple licking is glorious
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