my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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