Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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