No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize