He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
