I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
