So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drake has all the answers
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
