you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
