Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
