whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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