I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
