Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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