If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
